how are you girls?

1:30 AM

The midnight. I would feel most motivated during this time. When the silence come and all I can feel is the cold wind enter my room from my opened window. This is the time that I always generate ideas to write and philosophizing. Or maybe planning for my future kahkah.

This is also the time when I miss those who were,still and will be forever dearest to me.

My girlfriends.

I would be sighing and regretting. Scolding myself that I have been abandoning them. I rarely catching up with them since I started my university life. Well, everyone experiences this. After graduating high school, everyone is going to different path, pursuing own's dream. And we got rarely talk to each other. The only time that we 'bising-bising' only in special occasion. New Year, someone's birthday, the Eids. Everyone is busy with their own life. It cant be avoid as we are doing different things now. Gathering also could be hard. It is hardly to have the same holiday time because everyone is staying at different places.

Time midnight like this lah buat aku teringat kat mereka-mereka. Are they still remember me as their friend? Are they still remember the things that we did together? All those crazy things that we have done. How I miss them.

Wondering how they are doing right now. Are they doing alright now? They must be happy now. Kalau ada masalah, for sure, they will have someone to lean on. They will have their happy days. Enjoying their lives as much as they can. It is just me that always looking back at the old time.

Not a disappointment. Not a betrayal that I feel. But a real happiness from deep inside my heart.

And how I feel bad because I rarely contact the girls. Selalu lupa semua orang punya birthday, then terlepas that moment. Time ni lah yang aku nak marah kat diri sendiri.

I wish they dont read this muahaha. xoxo

9 years and counting. 10 years and counting.

it is never too late.

As someone who are dear to me said,
" it is never too late to start again "

Well, it affects me, so much. When I was finding myself, she give me this quote. It was suddenly make me realize that I'd lost my dear self to another me that built from my negative thinking. I forgot how I was optimist back then. It's make me realize that I shouldnt give up and I have to make it up again.

Whenever I am doing things, I never forget that there will be another chance if I fail the first chance. Like the saying, dont worry if your plan A is failed, there are 25 more alphabet for you to try. But it doesnt mean that I dont have to do my best at the first try. Definitely I have to try my very best to do anything but this saying told me, the 'hope' is there if you dont success in the first try. It will avoid myself from being pessimist and heart broken.

It's fascinating when one's simple word can change my life. Even the most cliche one.