Falling.

There was once in your life, you fall and hit rock bottom. You hurt. A lot. Like  a deep cut with nonstop bleeding. And seem that you cant find the way out of it. You cant think the solution anymore. You thought that no one can help you. You though it was your fault. Your confidence scattered. Your self esteem hit the bottom.

I was,once in that situation, recently. And it hit me hard. I cant think of any way that can solve it. I cry, cry and cry. Almost everyday. Thinking what is happening to me. Trying to figure out why this happen to me. Was it my fault for not doing my best? Was it already being written as my destiny?
Was it? And too many was it

Trying to get back on the right track is easier said than done. I've done everything that I could. I tried this and that. Make me did a lot of thinking.

But all I had gone through were nothing but true experience. The experience that taught me a lot of thing. Proved to me that our life is like a roller coaster. Taught me who are the person in me.

Forget all the bad things and start anew.

 *This post is the old one, just decide to publish it hee

Paranoia.

I know the are many wrongdoings of me. I know I have been wrong to people. And I know it all about my attitude. 

Honestly, I don’t know myself. Back to people how they view me. I know there are people who had bad impression of me and I know some people had good impression to me.

 Life kind of hard because we care too much on how people think of us right? I don’t know why I'm taking this thing seriously, well, ermm not so seriously but whenever I'm thinking to do some things, I tend to imagine what will people think of my acts.

I don’t know why but maybe it is because of my paranoia? Many said that don’t care of what people talking about you as you are living your dream, not theirs. 

Honestly, for me it is the hardest thing I have to do. It is hard to ignore people's words.

Hurt.

Paling sedih, when now, you just realize that something is actually so much precious to you when it already gone. Too much regret in me. But I know regretting something tak ke mana mana jugak. 

Sometime it took times, yaa a lot of time for me to move on from regretting things. Even I have to lie to move forward. Lying that I'm okay and everything gonna be fine soon.

Sumpah, that thing memang susah and a lot of thoughts have to  be rationalized. 

But, when you lied and start to forget about it, you know that tomorrow will be different and better. Well, the past can hurt you, but you can either run from it or learn from it. 

Yet I know learn from the past is hurt, but that the way I see it.

This is hard meh.